• J and J started care with me in the first trimester of their third pregnancy.  They had their previous baby at home with me two years ago.  You can read about that journey here. Just as J’s previous pregnancy was eventful, so was this little one’s journey.  As what happened last pregnancy, this little one […]

  • L and E started care with me in the first trimester of their first pregnancy.  L had researched for awhile what she would want for her prenatal care and delivery, and knew she wanted a midwife and home birth when she found out she was expecting. L’s pregnancy went along perfectly.  She did everything she […]

  • Where do I even begin?  I have sat and thought how I wanted to write and process Aibhlinn’s earth side journey many times, but the story is so much more than just her actual birthing day.  It encompasses days, months, and years of a journey that gave us this precious gift. After several miscarriages and […]

  • F and M started care with me in the first trimester of their second pregnancy.  F and M had their first baby with me, and were looking forward to another home birth.  You can read about their first journey here. Prodromal labor kicked in with a fury once F’s estimated due date passed.  On May […]

  • L and S transferred care to me in the beginning of the third trimester of L’s second pregnancy.  She had been hoping to transfer to a midwife her whole pregnancy, and was thrilled to finally get to make the transition in her final weeks before birthing day. L’s pregnancy progressed along normally.  L had been […]

J and J started care with me in the first trimester of their third pregnancy.  They had their previous baby at home with me two years ago.  You can read about that journey here.

Just as J’s previous pregnancy was eventful, so was this little one’s journey.  As what happened last pregnancy, this little one was definitely feeling on the larger side but to add to it, this little one was persistently breech!

I referred J to a Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist for an evaluation.  He also felt baby was large, estimating over 9 pounds at 36 weeks, and scheduled her for an external cephalic version for 37.0 weeks.  He prepared her with the risks and benefits, and told her if baby did not move, he would want to perform a cesarean that day.

J went in on June 15th at 37.0 weeks anxious for the unknown.  After multiple delays, J was finally in the OR that evening, and baby moved without much effort.

J was ready to get things moving since baby was already expected to be on the large side, plus she was nervous baby would move back breech.  I had another client who was overdue, and I told J we could not begin actively encouraging baby out until the other client had her baby.

J came in at 37.3 weeks for her regular appointment, and to begin homeopathy to gently start the process.  I did an exam, and found J to be 1cm dilated, 70% effaced, and baby at a -4 station.  I did not see J again for three more days, after my other client had her baby.

At 37.6 weeks, J came in to begin more serious labor encouragement.  Her cervical exam was the same.  I did a membrane sweep, and we began herbs to help encourage J’s uterus contract.

We repeated things the next day.  When J was at the office, we discussed her returning the next day and planning to stay in my area so that I could encourage her twice.

At 38.1 weeks, J returned around noon.  She had made some cervical change, and was now 2cm, 70% effaced, baby at a -3 station, and had a bulgy bag of water.  She went for an adjustment with one of my favorite chiropractors, had some lunch, went for a walk, and then returned back to my office at 4pm.  Contractions were coming every 8-10 minutes, and upon exam, J was 3cm dilated, 80% effaced, and a -3 station.  We were hopeful that this might kick into active labor.

Active labor kicked in within a few hours, and quickly when it did.  J was texting me updates, but soon her doula was taking over.  It was determined around 1030pm that all the birth team should be en route.  Once again, it took me some time as I was getting my newborn together to get out the door, and that added a lot of time.

Jessica says this one is titled “lift and tucks suck.”

Apprentice R arrived at 11pm while I was working my way there.  J was working hard, and R felt she was a good 5cm.

I arrived at 1230am, and found J to be doing lift and tucks with her birth team that was already present.  She was moaning with contractions, and surrounded with so much love and support.

After the lift and tucks, I did an exam and found J to be 9cm dilated, 100% effaced, and baby at a 0 station. I encouraged J to continue changing positions to help baby move down, as it would not be long and it would be time to push.

I stepped away to nurse my baby while the rest of the team helped J in her journey and set up for delivery.  When I was done, J was done waiting and asked me to break her water.

After reviewing risks and benefits, I broke J’s water at 122am.  J was 10cm dilated, and baby at a +1 position.  I told J whenever she felt the urge and was ready, she could begin to push.  With the next contraction, she began to push.

J began to push in a squat, then moved to kneeling with a side lunge.  At 148am, she moved into side lying on the bed to push.  J did beautifully at hydrating between contractions.  She was continually surrounded by so much love and support, and her oldest child A was such a sweet doula to her mama!

As we entered the 2am hour, J pushed in hands and knees,  right side in the bed, and then semi reclining doing tug of war with her doula.  As 3am neared, I suggested J sit on the toilet for a few contractions, try to empty her bladder, and try to breathe through a few contractions.

J moved back to the bedroom at 312am, pushing in a squat.  Apprentice R and I began to talk to J about any mental blocks she might be having, but as we talked briefly, J said the baby was right there.  She could feel the difference.

The head was visible at 321am, and we called the rest of the team to come!  The head was crowning at 323am, followed by the head at 324am with a nuchal cord.  After a moment for baby to get in position, baby was born at 325am.  Her heart rate was slightly low at first, but quickly normalized.  After a few puffs from the bag and mask, baby was more actively crying and letting her presence known!

Welcome to the world Kacy!  Born earthside on June 24th, 2018 at 325am, weighing in at 9lbs 12ozs, 23.25in long.  Your mama worked so hard in her birthing time to bring your earthside at home, just as she envisioned and planned.



L and E started care with me in the first trimester of their first pregnancy.  L had researched for awhile what she would want for her prenatal care and delivery, and knew she wanted a midwife and home birth when she found out she was expecting.

L’s pregnancy went along perfectly.  She did everything she could to prepare for her birth, and took excellent care of herself for the journey with a great diet and exercise.  She was even mowing the lawn just a few days before having the baby because she felt that well!

Five days passed her estimated due date, L was in the office for her regular appointment, saying contractions were much more frequent these days.  She decided she wanted to an exam to see if any cervical change had begun.  I found L to be 2cm dilated, 80% effaced, and baby at a 0 station.  L asked if I could sweep her membranes to see if that would turn her contractions into labor contractions.

L had some powerful contractions the rest of the day, as well as the following day, but baby did not come.

L came to the office on June 19th, 9 days passed her estimated due date, for labor encouragement.  L stated her contractions over night had become more regular and stronger, and had continued after taking a warm shower. Her cervical check was the same as Friday, with more bloody show with the sweep.  L consumed the herbs to try to help strengthen her contractions.  I recommended she see her chiropractor, go for a walk, and eat lunch after she left my place.

Contractions immediately picked up in frequency and intensity.  L continued on with her day, alternating rest with activity to help make the contractions more active.  As the night came on, we talked about a shower and sleep, but as you would expect, active labor began around 10pm.

L labored through the night with E and her mom, and requested birth team around 730am.  Apprentice R headed over first while I worked on getting things together, as taking a newborn added a lot of time to get out of the house for me since my little one was 3 weeks old.

When R arrived, contractions were coming every 3 minutes, lasting 60 seconds in length.  R was moaning with contractions, and stating she was experiencing pain in her back.  She alternated positions well, going from walking around the house to kneeling to sitting.

I did an exam a little after 10am, and found L to be 7cm dilated, 100% effaced, and baby at a +1 station with a bulgy bag of water.

L moved into the birth pool, laboring on her knees.  We began to administer a homeopathic to help control nausea and vomiting as L was beginning to struggle with that.  Contractions at this point were lasting 2.5 mins, 60-70 seconds in length.

L alternated kneeling and squatting in the birth pool, before moving out and sitting on her bed side at 11am.  She was beginning to feel some more pressure, and was moving towards the toilet to empty her bladder and give baby some room to keep coming down.

Twenty minutes later, L moved back into the birth pool.  She said the pressure was changing, and she was feeling it more in her rectum.  L did beautifully listening to her body’s signals to change positions, and every few waves L was changing her position.

L moved to laboring backwards on the toilet at 1230pm. After some bleeding and increased pressure, I did an exam on the toilet and found L to have an anterior lip of cervix left.  I encouraged L to continue to labor and allow that little bit of cervix to melt away.

L moved back to the birth pool, and stated at 110pm that she had her first contraction where she felt like her body wanted to push.  Through out the next hour, we encouraged L to wait for the urge to push to become unbearable.  Contractions were coming every 2.5-3 minutes, lasting 60+ seconds.

At 208pm, L stated that it was “hard not to push.”  I found she still had a lip, and baby was at a +2 station.  L agreed that she wanted to try to push with me holding back her lip of cervix, and started to pushing with my assistance at 213pm.

L pushed on her knees in the birth pool, and by 234pm, the lip was gone.  Then the fun began.  We alternated every position thinkable to push in the pool.  L pushed on her knees, in a lunge, in semi reclining, on the birth stool, and did tug of war with apprentice A.  Baby moved to +3, but enjoyed hanging out there.  L was getting tired, but did great with staying hydrated.  We gave her some homeopathy treatments to help with energy.

L moved to the bed at 319pm to help her rest between pushes.  She started pushing on her left side, then moved to semi reclining and resumed tug of war with A.  About every 15 minutes, L rotated her position in the bed.  As 4pm neared, she pushed in hands and knees, and then moved into kneeling and alternating lunges.  Through out this time, either R or myself were providing perineal massage to help stretch and give room as we could tell that L had a tight pelvic floor.

This position of kneeling in the bed finally was the magical position, and we could see the head staying on the perineum at 402pm.  At 405pm, the head was crowning.  L did a great job letting her perineum stretch to try to prevent tearing.  The head was birthed a minute later, with little one’s hand right by her head, following with the rest of the body at 407pm.

Welcome to the world, Fern!  Born earthside on June 20th, 2018 at 407 pm, weighing in at 8lbs 4ozs, 21″ long.  Her mama was powerful through her slow and steady labor journey, welcoming her baby peacefully and gently at home just as she wanted.

Baby Fern nursed like a champ, and was back at birth weight by day 5!

It was such a privilege to work with this family, and help them with the birth journey of their first born.


Where do I even begin?  I have sat and thought how I wanted to write and process Aibhlinn’s earth side journey many times, but the story is so much more than just her actual birthing day.  It encompasses days, months, and years of a journey that gave us this precious gift.

The magical flash of our baby going into my uterus.

After several miscarriages and years of waiting for another baby, we started our IVF journey in May 2017.  Maybe at some point I will write out our IVF journey, but I will save that for another post.  Our retrieval gave us three embryos to freeze last July.

Post FET with our embryo pic and proof that it was inserted inside of me!

After several hiccups, we finally got to have our first FET (frozen embryo transfer) on October 18, 2017.  My best friend, Hunter, took me.  It was a very nerve wracking and surreal experience.  The process was like a pap smear.  We got to watch on ultrasound as the embryo was “poofed” into my uterus.  I was sent home for three days of strict bed rest, and reassured that the embryo would not fall out!  I can now say that is true.  She did not fall out!

Our social media announcement after we received our HCG results.

It really says “pregnant!”

With my boys, I was always pretty sure that the queasy/nausea started from implantation, but of course could not know for sure.  I can promise you that I am one of those special people that start to experience nausea at the first drop of hcg production in my body!  Three days after our FET, I experienced a couple of dizzy/queasy spells, followed by several bouts of queasiness and a faint positive pregnancy test the next day.  Our first FET worked!  We are expecting!

Our first glimpse of Aibhlinn

I was thrown immediately into a very difficult pregnancy, only I did not know it yet.  The nausea came on hard and fast.  If I was not working, I was most likely in the bed so sick.  I kept counting down the weeks until 14-16 weeks when the nausea should be gone to get me through, except I did not know that the nausea would never go away.

9.4 Weeks

We got the first glimmer of our miracle at 5.4 weeks, and saw her heart flickering on the screen at 5.6 weeks.  It was absolutely surreal. We had weekly ultrasounds at the fertility clinic.  Every Tuesday morning I would go in, convinced they were going to give me bad news while I could barely keep myself from throwing up.

12.4 Weeks

It was a very anxiety ridden time.  The news was always good.  Aibhlinn continued to grow ahead of schedule by two days, and we were able to graduate at 12.4 weeks, which was the day after Christmas!

I did a blood test at 9 weeks that was suppose to be 99% accurate at detecting the sex of the baby.  We were so excited to find out if we were having a boy or girl, so I was of course pricking my finger to send in the test at 9 weeks exactly.  The test error-ed, and we had to wait several more days for a new test.  The results came back a couple days later, telling us:

We were thankful for another baby, and I was resigning to being a boy mom.  Sweet Silas was very tearful as he wanted a baby sister more than anything.  I told him he could always hope and pray that there was some error, and that the ultrasound at 14 weeks would give him different news.

17 Weeks

I never expected to be told anything different when I went in for an ultrasound at 14 weeks.  I just wanted to have the sex of the baby solidifed for me so that I could really start planning and envisioning.

20 Week Anatomy Scan

I was SO shocked when the sonographer said, “It’s a GIRL!”  Both sonographers looked, and then confirmed again at my 20 week ultrasound.  We were definitely having a girl!

28 Weeks

I saw my midwife for our first official prenatal appointment at 20 weeks.  I had previously established care with another midwife team for home birth and my other midwife was going to be in case of a hospital birth, but I was not comfortable and my gut said I needed to be fully with Melissa, and that is what I did at 20 weeks.  Melissa is fabulous, and I was blessed to train under her when I was an apprentice midwife.  I had no doubt that I was in the best hands for my pregnancy and delivery.

My IV pole for the 48 hours of magnesium.

The joys of mag and steroids!

My first bout of preterm labor began at 20 weeks.  It seemed it was triggered from an infection.  I had braxton hicks on the regular.  My next bad bout of contractions was at 24 weeks after a stressful job encounter.  I could not get the contractions to stop for a couple of days, and it has me worried.  I was suppose to go on moderate bed rest at this time.  I had a positive fetal fibronectin come back at 29.3 weeks plus I was making small cervical change, which basically said my body was starting the process to go into labor, and I would need to take my body cues of contractions much more seriously.


I had a crazy work week that week, and by 29.6 weeks, the contractions were crazy.  They were not intense like a baby was coming, but they were regular, annoying, and strengthening. It was decided I should come in to the hospital for 48 hours of magnesium, steroids, and observation.  My cervix had changed slightly, and I was on bed rest while in the hospital.

Bed rest activities!

When I was discharged three days later, my midwife had a serious conversation with me about going on bed rest.

32 Weeks

Having a baby at 30 weeks was not at all ideal, and I needed to do all I could to keep Aibhlinn in every extra day we could get.  The agreement was bed rest, and that I could be driven to births and be a support and bystander for my mamas.

Bed rest definitely helped.  There is no denying that at all.  I went from contractions every 2-5 minutes, to 3 an hour at first.  We were all happy that they slowed so much after the hospital trip.  It bought us some days before things started to creep up again.

33 Weeks

At 33.2 weeks, I had a crazy bout of contractions that actually were fairly uncomfortable.  I soaked in the bath tub and then stood in the shower, trying to get relief, but nothing worked.  After several hours, I finally got them to slow down.

This continued off and on the rest of the week.  I was waiting for a sweet repeat client to deliver, and was so stressed I would miss her birth.

Aibhlinn at 33.5 weeks, weighing an estimated 5lbs 2ozs.

I think in hind sight, I probably held out for her.  It was a super rough week on the contraction front, but that sweet mama delivered in the early hours of May 24th.  I caught a nap, and saw client’s all afternoon from my bed.  I just wanted to get some sleep that night to make up from the all nighter the night before, but the uterus had other ideas!

Got to sneak in maternity pics at 33.4 weeks!

At 230am on May 25th (my birthday!), I woke with contractions.  Joy!  I was 34.0 weeks.  I had an appointment with the MFM (maternal fetal medicine specialist) two days prior, and Aibhlinn’s heart rate was very high, and the decision was made to stop all tocolytics and just let things move how they were going to move since they were impacting her heart rate.

Sweet 33.4 week pregnant belly!

Needless to say, contractions were crazy.  I tried a bath, and forced myself to rest as I did not want to be exhausted if labor was trying to start.  I finally got about 90 minutes of a rough nap, before being awake for the day at 730am.

I made sure monitor little one’s heart rate periodically while laboring at home for my peace of mind.

It was uncomfortable to rest, so I tried sitting on the birth ball, then alternated walking the house with walking outside with Gideon. The husband was getting anxious because he says I always “wait too long” before calling it, but I knew things were still going to be awhile as I was uncomfortable, but did not feel like I was active.

Trying to rest with contractions on May 25th.

Around lunch time, the decision was made by the husband and midwife that I should come in.  Two days earlier I had seen Melissa, and was still dilated a generous 1cm, 3-4cm external os, thick, and soft.  I got to the hospital around 130pm, and waited for Melissa to arrive.  Contractions at this point were much more uncomfortable at this point, and I was going to be super upset if I had not made any change.

Monitoring in triage.

Melissa arrived, and did my exam around 230pm.  I was 2-3cm, 50%, -3 station with bloody show, and contractions every 3 minutes.  It was decided I would walk the hospital, and see what kind of progress was made.  I asked my doula, Hunter, to come so that she could help me with lift and tuck and some positioning to get things going.  If Aibhlinn was going to come, I wanted this process to be as efficient as humanly possible.

Lift and tuck on May 25th!

Christopher and I walked the floors of the hospital, until they had a room ready for us at 4pm.  They drew my labs, placed a hep lock, and did some brief monitoring while they got me in the system.

Hunter got there, and we did lift and tuck.  After that I alternated a variety of positions.  I would sit on the ball, walk the room, pull out the stool to do captain morgan’s.  I had a lot of pressure in my pubic bone.  When Melissa came in to do an exam around 630pm, I said I felt like she was possibly acynclitic or something.  It was very uncomfortable where I felt the contractions.  At this exam, I was 3cm, 50% effaced, and baby was at a -2.  Melissa swept my membranes to see what would happen.

Open knee chest

Contractions picked up some after the exam and sweep. I continued to do a variety of positions to help try to move baby’s position and to get the show on the road.  I am all about efficiency, and if this was happening, I wanted it over with.  If it was not, then I wanted it to stop.  Hunter suggested open knee chest around 11pm.  Normally this position is quite magical for people.  This position completely stalled things out!  It was crazy.  I went from contractions every 3 minutes, to very mild contractions every 5-6 minutes.  Melissa checked me, and I was the same.  The plan was then to rest as much as humanly possible, and see how things were in the morning.

I walked the halls of postpartum until about 2am before attempting to rest.  I had a rough, not restful night of sleep.  I would maybe doze for 20 minutes, then be wide awake for an hour.  It was rough.    By morning, things were the same.  It was decided I could go home, with the full expectation that I would be returning some point soon.  I was told to keep my hospital bands on so that they could potentially use the same blood work if I returned by Monday.

We went home, arriving about 1030am.  I took a shower, and took a nap.  I sent my chiropractor, Nora, a text to see if she could adjust me.  At my last exam, it was felt that the baby had a hand presenting, which may have been what was causing the pelvic bone discomfort.  I went to Nora’s at 530pm, and got adjusted.

Last belly shot at 34.2 weeks.

I struggled with sleep again that night.  I ended up taking a warm, epsom salt bath, and finally fell asleep around midnight.  Contractions woke me up at 530am Sunday morning (May 27th).  All morning they were coming about every 3 minutes, lasting 50 seconds.  The husband and I went to breakfast, and then ran into a couple stores to pick up a few preemie outfits since we only had two, and it was becoming apparent that we probably would need them.

I was uncomfortable by lunch time.  My back hurt with these contractions.  The husband went and picked us up lunch, and then I laid on my left side in the bed, breathing through the contractions and trying to rest.

He thinks he is a student midwife now!

Unknown to me, the husband was texting Melissa.  He was getting antsy, and I absolutely refused to go to the hospital.  Although my back hurt and I was uncomfortable, I knew things were probably moving unearthly slow. Mid afternoon, he insisted he was going to figure out how to check my cervix because he did not want to have the baby in the car.  I did not either, but I did not want to make the hour long drive to the hospital again for nothing!

The dilation wheel

Well the second exam he wanted to do around 8pm turned into quite the antics! he was trying to make sure it was the cervix, and then realized he was touching the baby’s head.  During this realization, I began to have a contraction.  Lightning fast, he shot his hand out of my cervix and fell across the room, panting as if he has the biggest fear of his life.  He began to full on panic, as he exclaimed, “Your vagina tried to eat my hand!”  I died laughing, while the poor man kept shaking and freaking out from what he considered a sci fi like experience.

Using the dilation wheel, the husband thought I was 5cm, and let Melissa know.  I was still refusing to go to the hospital.  Melissa sent me a text a little before 10pm, basically saying not to be stubborn.  I reluctantly agreed, and we headed towards the hospital, arriving a little before midnight.  Melissa did my exam right around midnight (now May 28th), and I was 5cm dilated, 50% effaced, and baby at a -2 station.

I walked the halls, before losing all my steam.  I was wiped.  I had not slept decently in over a week, and not had more than a nap in five days between work and contractions.  Golden Girls was playing in the background on the hospital TV, while I continued to position myself in different ways in the bed to hopefully help progression, comfort, and rest.

Our Birthing Space

Melissa checked me at 7am, and said I was very thin.  Here is where I have to say that when it comes to my personal labors, I really want efficiency and to get the job done.  I begged Melissa to break my water Friday, and she would not.  With Gideon, my water was broken without my consent at 4cm, and he came four hours later.  With Silas, I requested it at 5cm, and he also was born four hours later.  After this exam, she said she felt more comfortable with the idea.

Birth affirmations that were made at my Blessingway.

I was much thinner, and my cervix stretchier.  We made a plan that I would eat breakfast, and she would come back in a couple hours to check me and break my water. NICU team was changing at that point, and it was a better NNP on call.  I notified my doula, Hunter, and my birth photographer, Stephanie, so that they could aim to come around my water breaking time.

Lift and Tuck

Melissa broke my water at 915am, and my team slowly trickled in by 11am.  Hunter assisted me with lift and tucks to help get things moving.

Talking with the NNP.

We continued that until the NNP came in to talk with the husband and I to tell us what to expect and to review question. I labored through stronger contractions on the birth ball while we talked with her.

Laboring in the room.

We loved Adrienne (NNP), who ended up being the NNP on most days, as well as discharge day from the NICU.

After she left, I walked around the room while the husband ran out for some lunch to bring back.  My hips were starting to ache during contractions, and I found myself holding on to them for some relief while I walked.

Quietly laboring.

I had intermittent monitoring, so every thirty minutes my awesome nurse would do heart tones through a contraction, and check my vitals every hour or two. I tried to snack on a couple of fries in between contractions, but I am prone to vomiting in labor, and was nervous to eat too much at this point.  I did make a point of drinking plenty of water and juice, since I did not have an IV or heplock, which we will discuss later.  Just note, get the dang heplock!

Walking the postpartum unit.

As 1pm neared, I decided to make loops around the postpartum unit.  The postpartum unit walks were becoming very familiar to me, as I had already spent a lot of time walking those halls! During this walk, was when I could tell things were starting to really intensify.

Laboring in a meadow…

I had been frustrated that I was not about to have a baby since my boys have always coming four hours after rupture of membranes, but I was determined to keep moving to get this journey complete.  I had to stop frequently to blow through contractions.  Hunter kept making jokes about the wall art, and telling me I could pretend I was laboring in a meadow.

Pic the hubby took… prob the last happy picture as things got real in the shower!

When we got to the room, I think it was Stephanie that suggested I try the shower since I always liked the water for relief.  I changed into a cami, and got into the shower.  The warm water felt so good.  I thought of a client who I caught her baby in the shower who was using the movable shower head on her pubic bone for relief, and so wished I had that option.  However, the hot water on my back helped immensely with the relief for my back and helped me manage the pubic bone pain.

In the Shower

Things really moved into transition in the shower.  I really liked my birth play list to help me focus.  While in the shower, the bluetooth speaker kept turning off, and that was frustrating me.

After the Shower

Apparently my children were on you tube at my in-laws, and they are connected to my account, so it kept shutting down my you tube.  Once that was discovered, then the music stayed on. I *think* Aibhlinn was born to the song “Healer”, which is absolutely fitting to everything about her and her journey.

Let me tell you, land labor sucks!

I remember helping the nurse find heart tones with the doppler in the shower since it was easier for me since I knew where she was.  The last time I remember was looking at my watch at 218pm, and knowing I was starting to feel the smallest bits of pressure at the peaks of contractions.  I knew it was not going to be too long.

Love this picture of my doula and midwife.

I remember Stephanie being in the bathroom, and I said, “You won’t be able to get good pictures if I stay in the shower, right?”  She, unfortunately, agreed with me.  I knew I was feeling some pressure, and probably should get out of my ever so comfortable shower since I wanted the pictures!

And this one… got to love the classy emesis bag.

Stephanie helped get me what I needed, and I dried and changed back into my labor gown.  I labored on the toilet, and felt to be sure baby was not super low and deceiving me.  She was not.

My doula and husband supporting me.

I walked into my room, and immediately was overcome with the intense pressure that contraction waves bring.  I was shaky and light headed, and immediately needed to sit.  I rocked on the birth ball, and asked for a heating pad for my back, which Hunter began to use as she applied counter pressure.

And another shot…

I have always spent transition in a birth pool, so I have never experienced the dramatic difference laboring outside of water is like until this experience.  Let me tell you in case you needed to know, the water helps immensely!

Moving to my knees in the bed.

I have no concept of time at this point.  Labor is active, and I know deep inside it won’t be long and she will be here.  I remember feeling so emotional, because I had a huge fear of a stillbirth in labor, and that fear would creep up that I would have gone through all of this, just to lose her.

Hands and Knees

It is funny the different things that ran through my mind in this final half hour of labor.  I thought of different women I have labored with through the years.  I thought of one who labors quite uniquely, and thought “This is why she tries to run outside naked in transition!”

I was so well supported in my journey.

Everything hurt.  There was so much pressure every where, and I was so nauseous which was so unpleasant.  Hunter helped dose me with a homeopathy that helps so many of my clients in labor, but did nothing for me.

Side lying while getting heart tones.

I had to move.  The pressure was getting too great on the birth ball, but when I stood up, I felt like I was going to pass out.  It made me wonder how on earth do women deliver standing or squatting.  I did not feel strong enough for that.  I immediately got into the bed in hands and knees and continued to labor.

Side Lying

I have never been vocal in my previous labors, but there was a lot of moaning coming out.

Once I was in the bed, the vomiting began.  Once I start, it just keeps on coming.  After vomiting a few times, I took oral Zofran.  I figured this was a perk of being in the hospital, and it would be one less thing I have to deal with coping through.  Thankfully, the nasuea improved greatly!


The pressure was so intense at this point.  Apparently, as I heard later from the very annoyed NICU nurse, they kept calling in saying it would be any minute.  She was very annoyed that I was not examined so that she could know my station.  Oh well.  She can get over it!

She is here!

According to Hunter, it was 321pm when I exclaimed, “Melissa, Baby!” I felt Aibhlinn descend rapidly into the birth canal, and I now felt burning.  I remember asking Melissa if she could see the baby, but I was trying to climb up the bed from the rapid intensity of the pain, so she could not see anything.

Melissa and I verifying that I really did have a girl! I love the joy on Melissa’s face!

I remember reminding myself to calm down and relax, and eventually I did, at which time Melissa began to assist me with birthing the baby.

So much emotion as I realized I was finally holding my rainbow baby.

I never really pushed.  I think I gave one or two pushes once she was crowning because my smallest baby burned the most, and I wanted her out.  It was not long, thank God!  At 323pm, Aibhlinn came into the world, with great Apgars and breathing so well for a 34.3 weeker!

My Sweet Girl

A few days later, the NICU nurse who was in for delivery, had to comment about my delivery.  She said, “Mrs. Stellhorn, I have NEVER seen a woman deliver the way you delivered your baby.”  She was mortified by how “different” my delivery was, since I did not have an epidural nor did I deliver in the standard lithotomy position.

Welcome to the world!

Aibhlinn was on my chest for several minutes while we got skin to skin time waiting for the cord to stop pulsing.  Everything was very calm and peaceful.  Once the cord stopped pulsing, Melissa clamped the cord, and the husband cut the cord.

The baby went to the warmer for her vitals, while Melissa delivered my placenta.  When people had asked me over the weeks of preterm labor about how I felt about my delivery, I had made peace with a possible hospital birth, and I fully trusted that God would have me delivering where it was safest for Aibhlinn and me.  That I would find the purpose in the birth journey that God was orchestrating for me.

Post bleeding skin to skin with my precious rainbow.

I never in a million years would have guessed that I would have any complications from my delivery.  That is the easy part for me.  It is the pregnancy that is difficult.  This journey decided to change it up.

The baby was back on my chest, as the placenta finally delivered.  With it, came a water fall of blood.  I remember feeling it pour out of me, and I was trying to guesstimate my blood loss from feeling, and was guessing 1000cc.

This is one of my favorite pictures. After Melissa was able to take a little breather from keeping me alive.

Stephanie told me weeks later that she can still hear the blood “squirting” out of me, it was so much and so fast.  All of a sudden, Melissa’s hand went up my uterus and caught me off guard.  I remember asking her if something was retained, and in her quiet, but if you know Melissa, “panicked” voice tone, she said, “No tone.”   I suggested Christopher take the baby, asI knew this would be awful.  Hunter supported me to help me stay calm, while Melissa attempted to force my uterus to contract.  Blood kept pouring.  Nurses were scrambling.  Someone gave me a shot of pitocin, and then methergine.  Another nurse began to start an IV and IV pitocin, while Melissa inserted cytotec. My uterus finally began to contract, and the bleeding stopped.  My EBL ended up being 2600cc by weight.

Melissa helping me with Aibhlinn’s first latch.

The blood loss soon began to hit me.  I normally feel pretty “drunk” after delivery, but I had felt so alert and well after this delivery until the bleeding.  I began to shake uncontrollably from being so cold.  Nurses brought in warm blanket after warm blanket, but it was never enough.  I felt sick, and in so much pain.  I eventually agreed to stadol about two hours after delivery because nothing was helping the pain. The stadol knocked me out for an hour, and when I woke, I felt much better.

Aibhlinn Noelle

Melissa helped me latch Aibhlinn, and Aibhlinn breastfed like a champ before the golden hour was up, and she had to go to the NICU.  It would be several hours before I would get to see her again, as I was too weak to even get out of bed.

Welcome to the world, Aibhlinn Noelle, born earth side on May 28th, 2018 at 323pm, weighing in at 5lbs 7ozs, 17 3/4 inches long.  Her name is Gaelic/French and means “long awaited (Christmas) gift” all together.  We worked and prayed so hard for her for many years, and God gave us our long awaited gift after many years of trials and storms, and our rainbow is here.

Our Rainbow baby

She is an absolute delight of my life, and the sleep deprivation and being covered in baby spit up are very much a gift and a blessing after losing so many babies and waiting so long for this baby.

Our IVF Picture

Many, many thanks to my WONDERFUL tribe and team who helped me at various spots in this journey.

Dr. Jason Griffith at Houston Fertility Institute, Willowbrook location, and his wonderful nurses.

Melissa White, CNM, at Women’s Care Center in the south Houston area, delivering at Bayshore Hospital.

Hunter Clayburn, doula and one of my best friends.  She was with me during my FET since my husband had to stay with our kids, and with me as I birthed my rainbow.

Nora Pacha, one of my awesome chiropractors.

Stephanie Shirley, my amazing friend and birth photographer, of Stephanie Shirley Photography.  So thankful she was with me, and captured our special day.

Kelly Richman, my wonderful maternity and newborn photographer of Lifetime of Clicks Photography.






F and M started care with me in the first trimester of their second pregnancy.  F and M had their first baby with me, and were looking forward to another home birth.  You can read about their first journey here.

Prodromal labor kicked in with a fury once F’s estimated due date passed.  On May 23rd at 40.4 weeks, F was getting frustrated with things.  She had experienced contractions every 8-12 minutes that were strong enough to effect her sleep.  She was ready to get the show on the road.  She asked about coming over for a membrane sweep, so we set up a time for later that afternoon.

F’s body had been working hard, as her cervix had made a good amount of change since her last exam.  F was 4cm dilated, 60% effaced, and baby was at a -1 station.  When F and M left, F planned to see her chiropractor to ensure things would progress optimally.

Contractions continued coming about every 8 minutes through out the evening.  Around 930pm, F was planning to take a shower and get some rest until things picked up more.

Contractions shifted at 11pm, coming on much stronger and regular.  F called me at 12:38am, and I could tell things were very active, and it was not going to be long until she was going to meet her baby.  F said contractions were coming every 2-5 minutes, and she wanted me to come and break her water because she was done.

I arrived at 1:24am, and found F laboring on the toilet, with her doula at her side.  F was feeling very pushy, and was giving some pushes on the toilet.  The birth pool was filling, but it was not looking optimal that birthing in the pool was going to happen this time.

F moved to her bedroom floor on hands and knees at 1:27am.  My back up midwife, A, was on one side to help with delivery, and my bed rest self was on the other side while the birth assistant rapidly set up for delivery.

The head was visible on the perineum at 1:31am.  F did a beautiful job slowly moving her sweet girl down.  The head crowned and was birthed rapidly, while the song “Godzilla” played.  The head just hung out there for a minute, before swiftly bringing the rest of her baby into her arms at 1:34am.

Welcome to the world, Kathleen!  Born earthside on May 24th, 2018 at 1:34am, weighing in at 7lbs 2ozs, 19.5in long.  Her mama was a champ through her long prodromal labor and quick active labor phases, bringing her sweet girl earth side perfectly.  It was such a joy to work with this sweet family for a second time.


L and S transferred care to me in the beginning of the third trimester of L’s second pregnancy.  She had been hoping to transfer to a midwife her whole pregnancy, and was thrilled to finally get to make the transition in her final weeks before birthing day.

L’s pregnancy progressed along normally.  L had been over 41 weeks when she had her first baby, so we were not surprised when L’s due date came and passed.

L came in around noon at 41 weeks to try some herbs and a membrane sweep.  L was 2cm dilated, 80% effaced, and baby was at a -2 station.  While I performed the membrane sweep, I noticed that the baby was presenting funny, but was unsure.  I felt the length of an extremity, but not a hand or foot to officially tell me anything.  I felt around deeper, and could not identify a butt or head behind the extremity.  I let L know the baby was presenting funny, and we would give another feel later that day and/or in labor to identify.

L and S left here around 1pm, and went for some lunch.  After lunch, they went walking around Wal-Mart.  Around 245pm, L text me that contractions were definitely regular and stronger, but she had no problem holding a conversation.  They got home around 3pm, and L said she wanted to try a nap, but contractions were definitely increasing in intensity.  I encouraged her to nap if she could, and let me know when she woke.

S called me at 3:20pm to let me know that L’s water broke.  Something inside me was on high alert.  I asked S to watch a couple contractions, and if they were much more intense, then I needed to make sure the entire birth team was on the way.

See I was currently 32 weeks pregnant and on bed rest, and was not suppose to be attending births.  However, when S responded that things were very intense, I notified my apprentice, assistant, and back up midwife, and looked at my husband and told him he could drive me or I was driving myself, but I needed to get over to this client ASAP.  He opted to drive me, which was helpful because he brought needed birth supplies upstairs for me when we arrived.

I arrived at 3:45pm, and found L laboring semi reclining in her bath tub, moaning with contractions. I could tell things were picking up quickly.  I grabbed a couple items I would need in case this baby came before any of the other team members arrived, and was at L’s side.

Baby’s heart tones were great.  As 4pm neared, L stated that she was feeling so much pressure in her butt.  I helped encourage L, while encouraging her to blow through the pressure as long as she could.  About this time, L’s oldest daughter got home from school.  I knew then that L would feel free to birth her baby, as it was very important to L that her daughter was there.

I did an exam at 4:04pm, and found L to be 10cm dilated and baby at a +3 station…. and double footling breech.  I was still alone with all my birth team en route.  I said a prayer, and continued to encourage L to blow.

At 4:06pm, out pop two precious, criss-crossed feet, actively kicking in the water. Three minutes later, baby was out to her umbilicus.  My apprentice and assistant arrived at 4:10pm, and moved into high gear for delivery prep as the shoulders were delivered.  Baby restituted for delivery, and at 4:12pm, she was here!

Baby K needed some encouragement to breathe after delivery, but after I worked on her for a bit, she made her presence known with a beautiful cry.

Welcome to the world, Katherine!  Born earth side on May 15th, 2018 at 4:12pm, weighing in at 6lbs 3ozs, 19.5 in long.  After seeing her placenta, which was not fully developed and one of the worst placenta’s I have ever seen, I am confident this sweet girl has an extra special place in this world.

Blessed that I got to be part of this sweet girl’s journey earthside, and get to be part of this family’s journey from a family of 3 to a family of 4.